Because I said so

Growing up, did you ever hear the words “because I said so!” Are parents right to use such terminology with children? Is there any real problem with parents who use that terminology?  Well, we are supposed to do things as unto God. Colossians 3:23 talks about doing what you do with all of your heart as unto the Lord. The Lord is our role model and His practice was to converse with man, not just to decree “because I said so!” Now understand that He is God and He can do that if He so desires, but the Lord has always wanted to fellowship with man. Even in the garden God wanted to fellowship with Adam and Eve. That is why he walked in the Garden of Eden with them. That is also why He gave his only son to die for the sins of the world so that man could come back into fellowship with him. God has wanted us to KNOW the plans that He has for us, His expectations for us and His will for us. He would be wrong to be a father who has expectations of us and not to tell us what those expectations are. Because I said so would not be the just thing to do and God is a God who is just.

Because I said so – keeps children outside of the thinking patterns of adults. In these last days it is important for children to know “why”, because that “why” is what is going to allow them to make decisions for themselves. That why should be based on the Word of God. So, it shouldnt be because I said so, it should be because the Word of God teaches so. We need to teach our kids that our authority is the Word and that the Word should be their authority as well. Try not to use the words because I said so . . . let your children know why you say what you say and do what you do . . . show them how you have learned to trust God to direct your path. Teach them how to trust God to direct theirs as well.

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4 thoughts on “Because I said so

  1. I actually use “because I said so” quite a bit. Sometimes after I’ve given an explanation and they’re still not happy. But sometimes it’s because it’s the truth. Their summer bedtime is pretty much the same as their school-year bedtime so their daddy and I can enjoy each other’s company in the evening. Because that’s the way we want it…no other reason. Because we said so. Why can’t they see a movie their friends are seeing? Because we don’t think it’s appropriate. And since there’s about a 0% chance that they’re going to say, “Oh, OK. I didn’t realize it’s inappropriate. Thanks, mom!”, it still boils down to “because I said so”.

    I agree with you that we should explain our decisions when we can. But children can no more understand some of our thinking than we can understand the mind of God. Don’t the Ten Commandments basically boil down to because God said so? It would be easy to argue that coveting doesn’t hurt anyone….so why can’t we do it? Because God said so. We may never understand His reasons this side of Heaven…but, like our own children, we’re expected to obey even when we don’t understand.

    • Thanks for your thoughts. I completely understand about the bedtime issue and the kids. We do the same thing, and are actually having them get up like it’s school too so they can get to sleep on time. If you think about it in the light of the Word, spending time with your spouse is part of nurturing and building your marriage. It’s important for you to “invest” in your marriage and your kids need to know that mommy and daddy need mommy and daddy time. I believe it helps with the selfish nature of children.

      You mention the movies. There are reasons that you feel your child should not see a particular movie . . . I’m not sure your reasons, but we don’t permit foul language, violence, sexual inappropriateness etc. If you look at those things, they are founded apart from the Word of God. Look at Philippians 4:8 It teaches us to think on things that are pure, right, true, lovely and admirable – those things that are excellent or praiseworthy . . . those are the things that we should think on. So my reason for telling my kids that they can’t see a certain movie is based on Philippians 4:8, and the New Living Translation is written in common lay language that most school age kids can understand. It does boil down to “because I said so” and that may be all you think that they get . . . but you as a parent know that there is more and they will as well as the Bible teaches that the Word of God will not return until Him void. You may not see the results of the Word you teach them now, but you will at some point.

      You mention that children can’t understand our thinking no more than we can understand the mind of Christ. Look with me at 1 Corinthians 2:10-16. This text is written to the church, the body of Christ, those who are “saved”. Verse 10 talks about things that are revealed to us by the Spirit of God. Continue reading and you will see that because we have the Spirit of God on the inside of us, WE HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST. The bottom line here is that the Spirit can reveal things to us . . . we should not discount our kids and think that they can’t comprehend the Word of God. Just put the Word of God out there and let God handle the rest. If I can share some more scriptures, let me know. I really appreciate you responding to the post. Have a blessed night.

      • Great, I noticed that I didn’t comment on the Ten Commandments. We can save that for another time if you are interested. I will share some scriptures though for your reading. Romans 6:14 teaches us that we are no longer under the law, but we are under grace. We couldn’t keep the law, so God sent Jesus. Take a look also at Mark 12:28-32. The commandments are summed up in loving God and loving people. So, we are not under the 10 commandments and there was no way for us to keep them, so God gave us a new commandment. The reason that God gave the 10 commandments is because the Jews were worshipping idol gods even after God had delivered them from Egypt. God bless.

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